From My Own Journey to a Book: Why I Wrote Twin Flames

Over the past few weeks, things may have seemed a little quieter behind the scenes at Divine Balance. However, I certainly haven’t been sitting still. Quite the opposite: I have been writing a book.

And if you know me even a little, the subject probably won’t surprise you: Twin Flames.

Writing a Twin Flame book has been on my mind for some time. This is not simply because Twin Flames are part of my work. The subject has also touched my own life deeply and has challenged, changed and taught me things that I could never have learned from theory alone.

At the same time, my work has shown me how many people struggle with the same questions, confusion and emotional intensity. Although every journey is different, I kept seeing similar themes return.

Eventually, I realised that I wanted to bring those different layers together in one place. I wanted to explore not only the spiritual ideas surrounding Twin Flames, but also the difficult parts: the questions, contradictions, inner work and healing that can happen when the focus gradually shifts away from the other person and back towards yourself.

That idea eventually became Twin Flames – De reis naar heling, herkenning en heelheid.

Why I Wanted to Write This Twin Flame Book

There is certainly no shortage of information about Twin Flames online. In fact, search for the subject and you will quickly find information about signs, synchronicities, angel numbers, runner and chaser dynamics, separation and reunion.

Some of that information can be helpful because it gives words to an experience that may otherwise feel almost impossible to explain. However, I also felt that something important was often missing.

So much attention is placed on identifying the connection and understanding the other person. As a result, questions such as these can begin to take over:

Is this really my Twin Flame?

Does my Twin Flame feel me?

Why are they running?

When will they come back?

Are we going to reunite?

I understand those questions. When a connection affects you deeply, it is natural to want answers and to understand why this particular person can have such an enormous impact on you.

Nevertheless, there is another question that can become far more important as the journey develops:

What is this journey bringing to the surface within me?

That question became one of the foundations of my Twin Flame book.

The Part of the Twin Flame Story I Was Missing

For me, the Twin Flame journey has never been only about romantic love or reunion. Instead, I see how such a connection can become a catalyst for profound inner change.

A connection can awaken enormous love, but it can also expose fear, attachment, old wounds, expectations and patterns that were already present beneath the surface. Consequently, the journey can become uncomfortable very quickly.

It may feel easier to focus on synchronicities, telepathy or an extraordinary sense of recognition. Yet it is much harder to look at why someone’s silence affects you so deeply, why distance creates panic or why you keep abandoning your own boundaries because you are afraid of losing the connection.

However uncomfortable those questions may be, they can lead to some of the deepest inner work.

For that reason, I wanted the book to make room for both sides of the experience: the spiritual and the human, the beautiful and the painful, the connection with another person and the relationship you have with yourself.

Whatever you ultimately believe a Twin Flame is, your own healing should never become less important than the connection.

This Is Not a Book About Getting Your Twin Flame Back

One thing became especially important to me while writing: I did not want to create another guide that promises reunion if you simply follow the right spiritual formula.

For example, I do not believe anyone can guarantee that your Twin Flame will return if you heal enough, surrender correctly or raise your vibration to a particular level. After all, nobody can promise another person’s choices.

Spirituality does not remove free will. Likewise, the Twin Flame label should never become a reason to wait indefinitely, tolerate unhealthy behaviour or put your own life on hold.

At the same time, I do not dismiss the spiritual side of the connection. The book explores energetic connection, awakening, kundalini, synchronicities and many of the spiritual ideas associated with Twin Flames.

Alongside those ideas, however, sits something equally important: discernment.

An intense connection is not automatically a healthy connection, and pain is not proof of destiny. Moreover, unconditional love does not mean giving someone unconditional access to you.

Sometimes love and boundaries need to exist at the same time.

As the book developed, that distinction became increasingly important to me.

From Recognition to Awakening

The book begins where many Twin Flame stories begin: recognition.

Perhaps you experience that strange feeling that someone is somehow familiar. There may be intense attraction, an immediate connection or a feeling of being seen in a way that is difficult to explain.

From there, I explore different ideas about Twin Flames and other deep connections, including soulmates and karmic relationships. This distinction matters because not every powerful connection necessarily needs the same label.

Next, the journey moves into awakening.

For some people, meeting someone they experience as a Twin Flame seems to open an entirely new spiritual world. For instance, intuition may become stronger, synchronicities may suddenly appear everywhere, dreams can become vivid and energy may feel different.

In some cases, people also experience what they interpret as kundalini activation or awakening. These experiences can feel profound; nevertheless, staying grounded remains important.

Spiritual awakening should help you develop a deeper relationship with yourself and your life rather than encourage you to disappear from it.

Runner, Chaser and Separation

Of course, I could not write about the Twin Flame journey without exploring runner and chaser dynamics. For many people, this is where the experience becomes particularly painful.

One person may begin to withdraw while the other tries harder to restore the connection. As the distance grows, the need for answers can become stronger.

Before long, almost everything can start revolving around the connection. You may wonder why they have not replied, what they are feeling, whether they are thinking about you or whether the separation is temporary.

As a result, you can spend so much energy searching for answers about another person that you slowly lose contact with yourself.

Therefore, the chapters about runner and chaser and separation do not focus on techniques for making someone return. Instead, they explore what happens inside you when that person moves away.

In this way, separation can become more than absence. It can also become a mirror.

When the Journey Becomes an Inner Journey

At a certain point, the focus of the book changes. The other person remains part of the story, but they are no longer the centre of every chapter.

From there, we move deeper into the dark night of the soul, shadow work and letting go. For me, this is where much of the real transformation can begin.

Shadow work asks uncomfortable questions. For example, what are you afraid of losing? Where are you abandoning yourself? Which old wound is being activated? What do you believe you need from this person in order to feel whole?

In addition, you may begin to notice repeating patterns or recognise places where you have ignored your own boundaries.

These questions are not about blaming yourself. Another person’s behaviour remains their responsibility.

Instead, shadow work can help you recognise where your power still exists.

You cannot control whether another person chooses you. However, you can choose whether you continue abandoning yourself while waiting for them.

That difference can change the direction of the entire journey.

Letting Go Is Not the Same as Giving Up

Letting go is another subject I wanted to approach carefully.

Within Twin Flame communities, letting go can sometimes become another strategy: “If I truly let go, they will come back.”

However, if you are letting go solely to produce a particular result, part of you is still trying to control the outcome.

Real letting go is different.

It does not require you to deny your feelings or pretend that the connection never mattered. Similarly, it does not mean that you suddenly stop loving someone.

Instead, letting go means that your entire life no longer depends on what another person chooses to do.

You can love someone and still move forward. At the same time, you can miss someone while creating a meaningful life of your own. You can also acknowledge a spiritual connection while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Gradually, the energy that was constantly directed towards the other person can begin to return to you.

Healing, Reunion and a Life Without Reunion

I also knew that the book needed to address one of the biggest questions surrounding Twin Flames: Does the journey end in reunion?

Sometimes, perhaps it does. Two people may grow, circumstances may change and a healthier relationship may eventually become possible.

However, there are no guarantees.

Sometimes there is no romantic reunion. In other situations, the other person makes different choices or you eventually make different choices yourself. Furthermore, healing can sometimes change the way you understand the connection.

That possibility deserves space too.

For this reason, I did not want someone to reach the final chapter believing their healing had failed simply because another person did not return.

Your growth is not invalidated by someone else’s decision. More importantly, your life does not need to become a waiting room while you hope for a particular outcome.

Reunion may be part of someone’s journey, but your wholeness does not begin on the day another person chooses you.

Why Wholeness Became the Heart of the Book

Ultimately, this is why the final word in the Dutch title matters so much to me: heelheid — wholeness.

For me, wholeness does not mean becoming perfectly healed or never experiencing pain again. Nor does it require you to forget someone or pretend that an important connection meant nothing.

Instead, wholeness means remembering that you are still you.

Your dreams matter, and so do your boundaries. Your body, friendships, purpose, joy and future matter as well.

A Twin Flame connection may become an important part of your life story. Nevertheless, it does not have to become your entire identity.

Perhaps one of the greatest transformations happens when you can honour the connection without losing yourself inside it.

Writing This Book Became a Journey of Its Own

What started as an idea became much bigger than I initially expected.

Over the past few weeks, I have spent countless hours writing, researching, checking and rewriting. Admittedly, I have also spent far too much time staring at certain paragraphs while wondering whether one sentence could somehow rearrange itself.

Some sections flowed almost effortlessly, whereas others made me stop and reconsider what I actually wanted to say.

Above all, I wanted to give the spiritual aspects enough space without presenting every spiritual interpretation as unquestionable fact. At the same time, I wanted to acknowledge how extraordinary these connections can feel without romanticising suffering.

I also wanted someone in the middle of separation or heartbreak to feel understood without giving them another reason to put their life on hold.

Finding that balance mattered to me.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of less mystical parts to deal with as well: chapter structures, references, formatting, covers and page layouts. Apparently, becoming an author also involves developing very strong opinions about things such as page breaks. Who knew?

Slowly, however, everything began to come together.

What had started as separate ideas and chapters finally became a book.

Seeing that happen has been incredibly special.

And Now I Can Finally Share It With You

My new book is called:

Twin Flames – De reis naar heling, herkenning en heelheid

The first edition is in Dutch and will be available as both a Kindle edition and paperback from September 11, 2026.

Throughout the book, I take you from recognition and awakening into runner and chaser dynamics, separation and the dark night of the soul. Afterwards, the focus moves deeper into shadow work, letting go, healing and wholeness.

Along the way, you will also find reflection, practical inner work and spiritual tools to help you explore your own experience more consciously.

Most importantly, however, I hope this Twin Flame book brings your attention back to the person who can sometimes become almost invisible during such an intense connection:

you.

If this journey has ever made you question the connection, the other person, yourself or everything you thought you understood about love, I wrote this book with you in mind.

I did not write it to promise reunion or to tell you to wait. Instead, I wrote it to help you understand what this journey may be bringing to the surface and, ultimately, to help you find your way back to yourself.

Discover Twin Flames – De reis naar heling, herkenning en heelheid

The Dutch edition will be available on Kindle and in paperback from September 11, 2026.

DISCOVER THE TWIN FLAMES BOOK